I got my Zap (chemo) last Tuesday and was kind of wiped out. Too lazy to get up and retrieve my book, I read the mail sitting nearby with more than the usual thoroughness. Even one of my wife's catalogs in which I found a plaque with the following:
"A soldier's prayer" from the US Civil War days.
"I asked God for strength, that I might achieve,
"I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.
"I asked for health, that I might do greater things,
"I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.
"I asked for riches, that I might be happy,
"I was given poverty, that I might be wise.
"I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men,
"I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.
"I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life,
"I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.
"I got nothing I asked for --
"but everything I had hoped for.
"Almost, in spite of myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
"I am, among all men, most richly blessed."
This I found thought provoking. Then I got my book and opened to the next chapter, which was about prayer and praying rightly. It gave the main reasons for problems in our prayer life: not really knowing ourselves, knowing our situation, knowing what we really want; and not really knowing God as He is revealed in the Bible. Three remedies come to mind: first, making time for some introspection, something I am not naturally inclined toward; really spending enough time with God in the Bible, listening prayer and meditation on His word; and realizing the fact that the Holy Spirit will help with our prayers when we leave it to Him ("We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." Rom 8:26)
Wednesday we will be leaving for a week in South Dakota with our daughter, son-in-law and grandkids. (My challenge is to survive a week with boistrous youngsters--which will be a pleasure I'm sure.) Back in April, when we made arrangements to go I was frustrated that I could not get a sooner flight (using Skymiles) than the end of July: in fact the time I wanted was right after I came home from the hospital and would not have been able to travel. God knew ahead of time that it would not be until the end of July when I would feel my best. He arranged the trip between chemo treatments knowing ahead of time when they would be scheduled. Isn't God great to work that out for me before I even knew I needed it?
Thanks for your continuing prayers.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Zap 3
Yesterday I had started a more ambitious post but found I couldn't think straight enough to make it come together so I will just give the facts and get back to the other as I can think better.
I got Zap 3 (chemo cycle 3) on Tuesday which went ok. There was some pain in the arm where it went in as in the past. The cold sensitivity is back and had a little nausea last night. Combined with the ongoing insomnia that I have had from the pain meds withdrawal, it was a long night. I am feeling better today, though tired.
Going into the chemo I had the best blood test results since we started, so that is really encouraging. Maybe I will get over the chemo effects quickly.
I have gotten this interview with Tony Snow from two sources. I recommend it highly: www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2007/july/25.30.html?start=1
Thanks for your prayers. I will up date again soon.
I got Zap 3 (chemo cycle 3) on Tuesday which went ok. There was some pain in the arm where it went in as in the past. The cold sensitivity is back and had a little nausea last night. Combined with the ongoing insomnia that I have had from the pain meds withdrawal, it was a long night. I am feeling better today, though tired.
Going into the chemo I had the best blood test results since we started, so that is really encouraging. Maybe I will get over the chemo effects quickly.
I have gotten this interview with Tony Snow from two sources. I recommend it highly: www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2007/july/25.30.html?start=1
Thanks for your prayers. I will up date again soon.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
What's Happening
Not sure the last post was all that clear on the Medical front so here it is again: When I went in the hospital I had moderate to severe abdominal pain and swallowing was often painful. Now, after two chemo treatments, I have very little abdominal pain and no trouble swallowing at all. I am off of anti-nausea and narcotic pain meds (but suffering a little withdrawal symptoms). I do use a naproxen (Aleve) once in awhile for pain but it is almost unneeded. The Dr. thought that all sounded very good.
The schedule for further treatments is: Jul 22 chemo, Aug 8 PET scan to see progress, Aug 12 Dr. consultation to get prognosis, Aug 12 Chemo, plus 2 more Chemo treatments at 3 week intervals. This schedule is the best case scenario, and all depends on what the PET scan shows.
Home front: My son and his wife came over from Greensboro Mon/Tues and worked on my utility room project we had started then not been able to finish since I got sick. They had already hung cabinets, and this time they put in a new floor and the trim. There is only a utility sink to set and it will be done. It looks great, and we are so thankful for their help.
Personal: My habit is to spend some time in the Bible, prayer, and meditation with hymns each morning. Often this leads to an entry in my journal and this morning I reviewed some of my past entries. The last entry before I got sick was on Psalm 25:14 "The Lord confides in those who fear Him." And I wrote: "He will tell me His plan for me." I guess He has, and is continuing to tell me. I don't yet know how it will all work out, but I am trusting Him because His plans are perfect.
Thanks for your prayers.
The schedule for further treatments is: Jul 22 chemo, Aug 8 PET scan to see progress, Aug 12 Dr. consultation to get prognosis, Aug 12 Chemo, plus 2 more Chemo treatments at 3 week intervals. This schedule is the best case scenario, and all depends on what the PET scan shows.
Home front: My son and his wife came over from Greensboro Mon/Tues and worked on my utility room project we had started then not been able to finish since I got sick. They had already hung cabinets, and this time they put in a new floor and the trim. There is only a utility sink to set and it will be done. It looks great, and we are so thankful for their help.
Personal: My habit is to spend some time in the Bible, prayer, and meditation with hymns each morning. Often this leads to an entry in my journal and this morning I reviewed some of my past entries. The last entry before I got sick was on Psalm 25:14 "The Lord confides in those who fear Him." And I wrote: "He will tell me His plan for me." I guess He has, and is continuing to tell me. I don't yet know how it will all work out, but I am trusting Him because His plans are perfect.
Thanks for your prayers.
Monday, July 14, 2008
New news
I was gently chastised Sunday for not posting so will attempt to bring you up to date with what is going on.
Medical progress: I recovered much quicker from the last Zap and feel 'good' most days, though I need a nap most days too. Tiredness sets in quickly if I work around the house, and that too varies from day to day. The hair stopped falling out, so it is a bit thinner, but still there so I didn't get a buzz cut as I had threatened. The best news is on meds. I stopped taking the anti-nausea pills and that went fine, now I have cut back on pain meds and feel pretty good. I just took a naproxen yesterday instead of my prescription pain med and it is fine. The fact that I can do with just that, plus the fact that I can swallow easily and eat most anything I like makes us think the chemo has been doing some major work. This morning the Dr. agreed and scheduled a follow up test for Aug 8 after my third Chemo cycle. When I entered the hospital I had severe abdominal pain, and had trouble swallowing most days so we are much improved on those scores. Praise God.
Yesterday I wrote but did not post:
Friends reported Sunday that their daughter Lisa was facing a battle with cancer. She is a young mother with a new baby--a situation so unlike mine that the fact it is cancer is the only commonality. We sometimes agonize over how to pray to a sovereign God in such situations: on the one hand we know he is working out His plan, not our. On the other hand, cancer is such an evil thing. I feel we must pray boldly: He is not above listening to us and doing what we ask. Read over the interchange between Abraham and God on God's plan to destroy Sodom (Gen 18:20-33) and see if God won't change His plan for us. With six requests Abraham bargained with God over how many righteous people in Sodom would be enough to save the city. He bargained God down from 50 to 10 righteous people, but God did not find even 10. Why did Abraham stop at 10? One more request from 10 down to 5 may have saved Sodom (though I can't imagine that as a good thing). So let us follow Abraham's example with our prayers and pray boldly for Lisa and her family.
Today we find the tumor is benign after all. Does this constitute answer to prayers such as the above? I certainly believe so.
Sunday we had a most excellent sermon on taking dominion where ever God has placed us. One of the points was illustrated with an excerpt from Richard Dawkins, one of the four "New Atheists" who have gotten a lot of press in the last few years. I was familiar with Dawkins and the others from various readings and a book I just finished (Beyond Opinion by Zacharis). Their two tenets seem to be: 1. there is no God, and 2. I hate Him. Their argument, when they try to make one, though judging from another of the four whose book I did read, Christopher Hitchens, usually they just rant, goes like this:
1. There is evil in the world
2. If there were a good God, He would deal with it.
3. Nothing has been done.
4. Therefore there is no God.
This argument makes a big leap at number 3. We Christians would argue that He has dealt with it in the only effective way so the argument fails. The press, being mostly non-Christian, lets that go by and still gives these people lots of publicity.
The one of the four I have read, Hitchens, has a book called "god is not great". As I said, it is more rant than reasoned argument, somewhat because that is Hitchens' style, but also because well thought out logical arguments fail for reasons like the above. I wrote a review on his book, but it is too long to post: if you want it, I will email to those who request or find some other way to post. Hitchens took part in a debate last week at a libertarian conference. His opponent was Dinesh D'Souza author of "What's So Great About Christianity?" and the debate was at Freedom Fest in Las Vegas. Judging by the way Freedom Fest is billed, I doubt there were many Christians, but D'Souza 'won' by a show of hands. Complete report here: http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=69456
Thanks for your prayers.
Medical progress: I recovered much quicker from the last Zap and feel 'good' most days, though I need a nap most days too. Tiredness sets in quickly if I work around the house, and that too varies from day to day. The hair stopped falling out, so it is a bit thinner, but still there so I didn't get a buzz cut as I had threatened. The best news is on meds. I stopped taking the anti-nausea pills and that went fine, now I have cut back on pain meds and feel pretty good. I just took a naproxen yesterday instead of my prescription pain med and it is fine. The fact that I can do with just that, plus the fact that I can swallow easily and eat most anything I like makes us think the chemo has been doing some major work. This morning the Dr. agreed and scheduled a follow up test for Aug 8 after my third Chemo cycle. When I entered the hospital I had severe abdominal pain, and had trouble swallowing most days so we are much improved on those scores. Praise God.
Yesterday I wrote but did not post:
Friends reported Sunday that their daughter Lisa was facing a battle with cancer. She is a young mother with a new baby--a situation so unlike mine that the fact it is cancer is the only commonality. We sometimes agonize over how to pray to a sovereign God in such situations: on the one hand we know he is working out His plan, not our. On the other hand, cancer is such an evil thing. I feel we must pray boldly: He is not above listening to us and doing what we ask. Read over the interchange between Abraham and God on God's plan to destroy Sodom (Gen 18:20-33) and see if God won't change His plan for us. With six requests Abraham bargained with God over how many righteous people in Sodom would be enough to save the city. He bargained God down from 50 to 10 righteous people, but God did not find even 10. Why did Abraham stop at 10? One more request from 10 down to 5 may have saved Sodom (though I can't imagine that as a good thing). So let us follow Abraham's example with our prayers and pray boldly for Lisa and her family.
Today we find the tumor is benign after all. Does this constitute answer to prayers such as the above? I certainly believe so.
Sunday we had a most excellent sermon on taking dominion where ever God has placed us. One of the points was illustrated with an excerpt from Richard Dawkins, one of the four "New Atheists" who have gotten a lot of press in the last few years. I was familiar with Dawkins and the others from various readings and a book I just finished (Beyond Opinion by Zacharis). Their two tenets seem to be: 1. there is no God, and 2. I hate Him. Their argument, when they try to make one, though judging from another of the four whose book I did read, Christopher Hitchens, usually they just rant, goes like this:
1. There is evil in the world
2. If there were a good God, He would deal with it.
3. Nothing has been done.
4. Therefore there is no God.
This argument makes a big leap at number 3. We Christians would argue that He has dealt with it in the only effective way so the argument fails. The press, being mostly non-Christian, lets that go by and still gives these people lots of publicity.
The one of the four I have read, Hitchens, has a book called "god is not great". As I said, it is more rant than reasoned argument, somewhat because that is Hitchens' style, but also because well thought out logical arguments fail for reasons like the above. I wrote a review on his book, but it is too long to post: if you want it, I will email to those who request or find some other way to post. Hitchens took part in a debate last week at a libertarian conference. His opponent was Dinesh D'Souza author of "What's So Great About Christianity?" and the debate was at Freedom Fest in Las Vegas. Judging by the way Freedom Fest is billed, I doubt there were many Christians, but D'Souza 'won' by a show of hands. Complete report here: http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=69456
Thanks for your prayers.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Progress
Thought I'd best let you all know how I am doing since it has been a few days since the Zap.
It leaves me really wiped out for a few days, and I slowly get better, especially in the afternoons. (With time for an afternoon nap.)
I have been reading the Psalms the last few days, leaving off with Psalm 24 this morning. It is neat how much I can identify with David--he was feeling as though he was totally lost on his own and threw himself on the Lord for safety. Most of those Psalms end by showing how safe he felt based on the Lord's care. I am in somewhat the same situation: without Him I would be feeling lost and with Him I feel perfectly safe. No matter what happens with the cancer, my future is decided by what God has determined is best.
Got a card today with James Brown yelling/singing out "I feel fine!!!!" from an embedded circuit. Shocked me into a good laugh and I must admit 'I feel fine' right at the moment. Penny just brought in a bouquet from a neighbor too. I do feel loved.
The lack of any many interesting things to do, and I really can't get out to do them if available, is leading to a certain amount of boredom. I am reading a good book called "Three Cups of Tea" that I recommend and have several more when that's done, but there is only so much reading and dozing and solitaire you can do. I am going to make a concerted effort to get more exercise so I have enough energy to get outside more. It is pouring rain right now, but it would be nice to get out and piddle around the garage and do some minor fixing. So that is my goal for next week.
Thanks again for all your prayers.
It leaves me really wiped out for a few days, and I slowly get better, especially in the afternoons. (With time for an afternoon nap.)
I have been reading the Psalms the last few days, leaving off with Psalm 24 this morning. It is neat how much I can identify with David--he was feeling as though he was totally lost on his own and threw himself on the Lord for safety. Most of those Psalms end by showing how safe he felt based on the Lord's care. I am in somewhat the same situation: without Him I would be feeling lost and with Him I feel perfectly safe. No matter what happens with the cancer, my future is decided by what God has determined is best.
Got a card today with James Brown yelling/singing out "I feel fine!!!!" from an embedded circuit. Shocked me into a good laugh and I must admit 'I feel fine' right at the moment. Penny just brought in a bouquet from a neighbor too. I do feel loved.
The lack of any many interesting things to do, and I really can't get out to do them if available, is leading to a certain amount of boredom. I am reading a good book called "Three Cups of Tea" that I recommend and have several more when that's done, but there is only so much reading and dozing and solitaire you can do. I am going to make a concerted effort to get more exercise so I have enough energy to get outside more. It is pouring rain right now, but it would be nice to get out and piddle around the garage and do some minor fixing. So that is my goal for next week.
Thanks again for all your prayers.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Zap II
Got my second chemo IV this morning and it went better than the first one. My arm does not hurt like the first time and so far no nausea. For those who have been through this a lot, I may seem to be going over minutia but it is all new to me. The cold sensitivity is back which I proved by trying to wash my hands a little while ago. Some other strange sensitivity to strong muscle contractions occurs in my face. All this is the same and went away the other time in a week to 10 days.
I have had a bit of dizziness since Friday which is kind of inconvenient. It is not enough to stop me from doing things, just gives me a start when I move my head quickly. I have cut back on my pain meds and that seems to have helped some. We will wait some more then try cutting the pain med completely for awhile and see if the dizziness goes away.
A friend from Sunday School came by to visit while I was getting my chemo. What a nice touch. As we got better acquainted we found we had a lot in common including the Air Force prior to college and similar career choices. It gave me a welcome time to talk rather than just read or nap as most in the cancer center were doing.
Found out on Sunday that I am losing my hair after all. It comes out in bunches when I shampoo. Probably will get a buzz soon so it is not all over bedding, etc. Moustache and body hair is intact so far.
Thanks again for all your prayers.
I have had a bit of dizziness since Friday which is kind of inconvenient. It is not enough to stop me from doing things, just gives me a start when I move my head quickly. I have cut back on my pain meds and that seems to have helped some. We will wait some more then try cutting the pain med completely for awhile and see if the dizziness goes away.
A friend from Sunday School came by to visit while I was getting my chemo. What a nice touch. As we got better acquainted we found we had a lot in common including the Air Force prior to college and similar career choices. It gave me a welcome time to talk rather than just read or nap as most in the cancer center were doing.
Found out on Sunday that I am losing my hair after all. It comes out in bunches when I shampoo. Probably will get a buzz soon so it is not all over bedding, etc. Moustache and body hair is intact so far.
Thanks again for all your prayers.
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