For those three of you still watching the blog, I had a Dr. appointment today and everything looks fine. Blood levels are almost normal and everything else is doing fine. I still get a little tired at the end of the work day--but, hey, it's work right? Next time I get zapped is Oct. 14, so there won't be much to report until then.
It has been great the way the Lord has carried us through this so far, and we appreciate all the prayer support and well wishes we have gotten from so many of you.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
The Future?
As we said in the last blog, we had some time with the Dr. today and got to ask a lot of questions. He got even by okaying my chemo today, but did decrease the dose by 25%. This should help with the effect on my white cells. My white cell count is still low but in line with previous tests.
After questioning the Dr. about how much of the cancer is killed by the chemo as determined by the CT and PET scans, how one can use that to predict the amount left in the body after 6 cycles (I just got cycle 5), and how fast the cancer cells grow, I got many facts that boil down to: "it depends".
The effect of the chemo on the tumor is not linear, being more effective in the first few cycles and less effective as time and usage go on. (A demonstration of the well known natural selection principle). An attempt to counter this is why I have three different kinds of chemo treatments. Also, the growth rate of esophogeal cancer can vary from 30 day to 120 day doubling rate. The Dr. was very clear that because of the non-linearities and the varied growth rate, even in the same patient, it is difficult to predict the future course of the disease.
All that said, the fact of my engineering background and present occupation as statistician make it almost impossible for me to avoid making some kind of estimate, even one with wide limits. So I read over the CT and PET scan reports, took into account the non-linear nature of the process and the wide limits on the growth rate and (leaving out the numbers for all those bored by such things) my prediction is that I MAY be able to take a 3 to 6 month time out from chemo after cycle 6, depending on the results of the next scan. Funny that this is exactly what the Dr. said about 2 visits ago. I like it when the math works out like that.
Our next chemo is scheduled at four weeks from today, Oct. 14th.
Spiritual status: Through adversity God has been teaching us a lot about His nature and how He thinks about us: you get a lot more serious about faith in times like this. And we have taken solace in the fact of God's great love for us and His sovereignty. Because of that we are convinced that our situation has been tailor-made to fit our particular lives at this particular time. We see this in His timing of every detail along the way, in how He has prepared us, in His provision of help from family and friends and prayer partners, in financial provision, and in encouragement through scriptures, sermons, books and radio programs. In all of those ways He has uniquely designed and fine-tuned this experience for His glory and our good. We marvel that even a few years ago we doubt we could have withstood this experience, and we are so glad we can now put our trust in Him and the unique hope He provides.
One of the breakthrough threads Penny and I discussed today started with Rom 8:28 (And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose) went on to the assurance of what "good" means (Rom 8:29 ...to be conformed to the likeness of his Son) and ended with the really neat thought of how God views us as "in Christ". Since we are in Christ, when God acts to glorify Himself, He cannot help but act for our good. The promise therefore is one of assurance that whatever happens to us, it will end in God's glory and our betterment--those two are inextricably combined by our position in Christ
After questioning the Dr. about how much of the cancer is killed by the chemo as determined by the CT and PET scans, how one can use that to predict the amount left in the body after 6 cycles (I just got cycle 5), and how fast the cancer cells grow, I got many facts that boil down to: "it depends".
The effect of the chemo on the tumor is not linear, being more effective in the first few cycles and less effective as time and usage go on. (A demonstration of the well known natural selection principle). An attempt to counter this is why I have three different kinds of chemo treatments. Also, the growth rate of esophogeal cancer can vary from 30 day to 120 day doubling rate. The Dr. was very clear that because of the non-linearities and the varied growth rate, even in the same patient, it is difficult to predict the future course of the disease.
All that said, the fact of my engineering background and present occupation as statistician make it almost impossible for me to avoid making some kind of estimate, even one with wide limits. So I read over the CT and PET scan reports, took into account the non-linear nature of the process and the wide limits on the growth rate and (leaving out the numbers for all those bored by such things) my prediction is that I MAY be able to take a 3 to 6 month time out from chemo after cycle 6, depending on the results of the next scan. Funny that this is exactly what the Dr. said about 2 visits ago. I like it when the math works out like that.
Our next chemo is scheduled at four weeks from today, Oct. 14th.
Spiritual status: Through adversity God has been teaching us a lot about His nature and how He thinks about us: you get a lot more serious about faith in times like this. And we have taken solace in the fact of God's great love for us and His sovereignty. Because of that we are convinced that our situation has been tailor-made to fit our particular lives at this particular time. We see this in His timing of every detail along the way, in how He has prepared us, in His provision of help from family and friends and prayer partners, in financial provision, and in encouragement through scriptures, sermons, books and radio programs. In all of those ways He has uniquely designed and fine-tuned this experience for His glory and our good. We marvel that even a few years ago we doubt we could have withstood this experience, and we are so glad we can now put our trust in Him and the unique hope He provides.
One of the breakthrough threads Penny and I discussed today started with Rom 8:28 (And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose) went on to the assurance of what "good" means (Rom 8:29 ...to be conformed to the likeness of his Son) and ended with the really neat thought of how God views us as "in Christ". Since we are in Christ, when God acts to glorify Himself, He cannot help but act for our good. The promise therefore is one of assurance that whatever happens to us, it will end in God's glory and our betterment--those two are inextricably combined by our position in Christ
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
What Now?
I would expect that most people have stopped looking at this blog by now, since I have gotten so lax in updating it. In a way, that is a good thing. My health has improved so much, there just doesn't seem to be much to say anymore. At least up 'til yesterday. I went in for my chemo and when they did the blood test my white cell count was too low. They put it off for a week to give my body more time to recover. Once the white cell count is back up we will go ahead as before. The only thing I have to do differently is to be careful of bacteria for a few days.
I told the Dr. he was really screwing up my schedule, but he claimed that screwing up schedules was his specialty. The chemo effect on my body apparently builds up over time and this kind of thing is not really unexpected--or at least it was not unexpected to the Dr. I will make sure to post next week when we find out whether we have the chemo treatment.
Although this looks like it is messing up my schedule, the Lord has the schedule all planned out so we are not really concerned. Penny and I constantly marvel at how the Lord has carried us through this trial so far. We have been upheld in prayer from friends, relatives and Samaritan Ministries partners from all over the country, and many have written with uplifting cards and letters. We have had wonderful care from doctors and nurses. I have had minimal bad effects from the chemo and it has worked to reduce the cancer and get me feeling better. I wonder if continued chemo treatments could keep the cancer at bay for years. Our medical bills have all been taken care of. Although we have been in a trial, we have felt so close to the Lord that we are not emotionally downcast, in fact we have felt closer to the Lord and each other than at any time in our marriage. How much more could He do? Ah, I suppose we could see complete healing, but even if that is not His will we have been geatly blessed at going through this experience. We have truly been blessed to have you along with us on this journey. Thanks for your prayers and love.
I told the Dr. he was really screwing up my schedule, but he claimed that screwing up schedules was his specialty. The chemo effect on my body apparently builds up over time and this kind of thing is not really unexpected--or at least it was not unexpected to the Dr. I will make sure to post next week when we find out whether we have the chemo treatment.
Although this looks like it is messing up my schedule, the Lord has the schedule all planned out so we are not really concerned. Penny and I constantly marvel at how the Lord has carried us through this trial so far. We have been upheld in prayer from friends, relatives and Samaritan Ministries partners from all over the country, and many have written with uplifting cards and letters. We have had wonderful care from doctors and nurses. I have had minimal bad effects from the chemo and it has worked to reduce the cancer and get me feeling better. I wonder if continued chemo treatments could keep the cancer at bay for years. Our medical bills have all been taken care of. Although we have been in a trial, we have felt so close to the Lord that we are not emotionally downcast, in fact we have felt closer to the Lord and each other than at any time in our marriage. How much more could He do? Ah, I suppose we could see complete healing, but even if that is not His will we have been geatly blessed at going through this experience. We have truly been blessed to have you along with us on this journey. Thanks for your prayers and love.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho,
It's back to work we go. I was feeling so well after the last Dr. visit that we made the decision to go back to work. Anyway, I worked Monday and Tuesday, got right back into the fray with a couple of items, and was definitely tired at the end of the day. Who would have thought a month ago that I'd be back to work so soon--an unexpected blessing arranged by God.
Something I had not mentioned as an outcome of the Dr. visit was that I got a port installed so that chemo treatments are easier. The port is a gadget that is surgically implanted just below the collar bone and has a tube that is inserted into a major vein. This morning (Wed) I had the first chemo through the port. It was a lot easier in respect to having an easy stick and no pain in the arm. My head is still kind of woozy, so if this post makes little sense, that is the reason: "blogging under the influence".
There were only a few people getting chemo, but we struck up a conversation with a Christian lady sitting next to me. It turned out to be an encouragement both medically and spiritually. She has been undergoing chemo off and on for four years for colon cancer. Early in her journey, she had been offered a complex surgery at Vanderbilt, but after much prayer and thinking about it, turned it down. After that, her oncologist came up with a different chemotherapy that has worked very well for her. It was clear that she was dependent on what God was telling her and it was the right thing to do. She seems to have done fine without the surgery. A good encouragement to us.
I am back to work today (Thurs) so a good nights sleep helped a lot. The woozy stuff was written yesterday.
We got a pointer to an excellent short article for Christians with cancer:
http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/TasteAndSee/ByDate/2006/1776_Dont_Waste_Your_Cancer/
It is aimed at those in my situation and points to God's sovereignty as the only real thing on which to hang our faith. If you think about it, how could you really trust Him unless He was not only loving, but also totally omnipotent. How could you really trust Him unless you could be assured that He does everything for His glory AND our good, and is so wise that neither of those takes precedence, but that they are always perfectly entwined. God can be completely trusted with the lives of His people.
Thanks for all your prayers. Keep it up, we can feel the results daily.
Something I had not mentioned as an outcome of the Dr. visit was that I got a port installed so that chemo treatments are easier. The port is a gadget that is surgically implanted just below the collar bone and has a tube that is inserted into a major vein. This morning (Wed) I had the first chemo through the port. It was a lot easier in respect to having an easy stick and no pain in the arm. My head is still kind of woozy, so if this post makes little sense, that is the reason: "blogging under the influence".
There were only a few people getting chemo, but we struck up a conversation with a Christian lady sitting next to me. It turned out to be an encouragement both medically and spiritually. She has been undergoing chemo off and on for four years for colon cancer. Early in her journey, she had been offered a complex surgery at Vanderbilt, but after much prayer and thinking about it, turned it down. After that, her oncologist came up with a different chemotherapy that has worked very well for her. It was clear that she was dependent on what God was telling her and it was the right thing to do. She seems to have done fine without the surgery. A good encouragement to us.
I am back to work today (Thurs) so a good nights sleep helped a lot. The woozy stuff was written yesterday.
We got a pointer to an excellent short article for Christians with cancer:
http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/TasteAndSee/ByDate/2006/1776_Dont_Waste_Your_Cancer/
It is aimed at those in my situation and points to God's sovereignty as the only real thing on which to hang our faith. If you think about it, how could you really trust Him unless He was not only loving, but also totally omnipotent. How could you really trust Him unless you could be assured that He does everything for His glory AND our good, and is so wise that neither of those takes precedence, but that they are always perfectly entwined. God can be completely trusted with the lives of His people.
Thanks for all your prayers. Keep it up, we can feel the results daily.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
All The News
As promised, here is an update after we visited the Dr. this morning to get the PET and CT scan results. Here are the Medical results:
Considering that less than half of esophogeal cancer patients make it past a year from their initial diagnosis, my results sound really great. The size of the esophogeal growth has been reduced to only a slight thickening of the esophogeal wall. One of the most swollen lymph nodes in my abdomen went from 2.9 by about 2 cm down to 2.5 by .6 cm. The PET values are in something called SUV (standard uptake value). The main cancer mass went from SUV 8.0 down to 3.1. Usually a value above about 2 or 2.5 is cause for concern when cancer is not known; but SUV numbers vary by location of the lab and how exactly the test is done. The main thing here is a marked reduction in both the size and the SUV intensity.
Based on the above results we will continue to have IV chemo treatments on a three week cycle for 3 more cycles, in addition to the oral chemo drug I take daily. Another PET will be scheduled following that, then a decision will be made on taking some time off from the chemo. The scheduling of chemo depends both on how well I tolerate the drugs and how much effect they have on the cancer.
Unfortunately, chemo is not a "cure". No matter how many times you kill the cancer cells chemically, a few billion of the original trillions of cells will survive each cycle. Similarly to the way bacteria develop immunity to antibiotics, the cancer will develop an immunity to the chemo. So it will eventually come back and not be affected by the chemotherapy we are using now. The Dr. was very reluctant to predict anything based on the results so far, though he did say it may take the cancer a year or more to start to develop this immunity.
That is the medical news. Here is the spiritual:
We are thrilled that God has seen fit to carry us along as he has. The improvements discussed above are the results of not just good medicine, but of so many of you praying for us. We know that whatever the Dr. says, God can do whatever He wants. He knows full well my condition and can deal with it and me as His purposes require. If He wants to remove the cancer from my body He can do that, or if He wants to let it run its course as I described He will do that. Whatever His will, we trust in Him to lead us and care for us, which He has so abundantly proven He will do by what has happened thus far. We are in His hands and that is the safest and best place to be.
Considering that less than half of esophogeal cancer patients make it past a year from their initial diagnosis, my results sound really great. The size of the esophogeal growth has been reduced to only a slight thickening of the esophogeal wall. One of the most swollen lymph nodes in my abdomen went from 2.9 by about 2 cm down to 2.5 by .6 cm. The PET values are in something called SUV (standard uptake value). The main cancer mass went from SUV 8.0 down to 3.1. Usually a value above about 2 or 2.5 is cause for concern when cancer is not known; but SUV numbers vary by location of the lab and how exactly the test is done. The main thing here is a marked reduction in both the size and the SUV intensity.
Based on the above results we will continue to have IV chemo treatments on a three week cycle for 3 more cycles, in addition to the oral chemo drug I take daily. Another PET will be scheduled following that, then a decision will be made on taking some time off from the chemo. The scheduling of chemo depends both on how well I tolerate the drugs and how much effect they have on the cancer.
Unfortunately, chemo is not a "cure". No matter how many times you kill the cancer cells chemically, a few billion of the original trillions of cells will survive each cycle. Similarly to the way bacteria develop immunity to antibiotics, the cancer will develop an immunity to the chemo. So it will eventually come back and not be affected by the chemotherapy we are using now. The Dr. was very reluctant to predict anything based on the results so far, though he did say it may take the cancer a year or more to start to develop this immunity.
That is the medical news. Here is the spiritual:
We are thrilled that God has seen fit to carry us along as he has. The improvements discussed above are the results of not just good medicine, but of so many of you praying for us. We know that whatever the Dr. says, God can do whatever He wants. He knows full well my condition and can deal with it and me as His purposes require. If He wants to remove the cancer from my body He can do that, or if He wants to let it run its course as I described He will do that. Whatever His will, we trust in Him to lead us and care for us, which He has so abundantly proven He will do by what has happened thus far. We are in His hands and that is the safest and best place to be.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Back Home
We had a wonderful time in SD with the grandchildren, daughter and son-in-law. Playing with the kids was great fun and even the baby, Wyatt, who is six months seems to smile practically all the time. Plus we had a great time visiting with Carol and Avery. (The trip was via Skymiles, so essentially free.)
My health was great during the visit and now. I get tired easily, but that is as much due to inactivity and muscle atrophy as it is chemo. It seems I am getting stronger instead of weaker as time goes on and after three chemo treatments. I don't need an afternoon nap most days anymore. This seems to be the opposite of what we expected from the chemo.
Yesterday, Friday, we had PET and CT scans to see how the treatment is progressing, and we get the results on Tuesday. Thank you for your prayers. They have made all the difference in how well I'm doing.
Another blessing this week was that a large medical bill was totally written off because we do not have regular insurance. We have had no problems financially.
Praise the Lord for all His help on taking care of expenses, physical and medical needs, and for always being with us in a tangible way as we have journeyed this far.
Thanks for all your continued prayers. We know and can see the effects of them.
My health was great during the visit and now. I get tired easily, but that is as much due to inactivity and muscle atrophy as it is chemo. It seems I am getting stronger instead of weaker as time goes on and after three chemo treatments. I don't need an afternoon nap most days anymore. This seems to be the opposite of what we expected from the chemo.
Yesterday, Friday, we had PET and CT scans to see how the treatment is progressing, and we get the results on Tuesday. Thank you for your prayers. They have made all the difference in how well I'm doing.
Another blessing this week was that a large medical bill was totally written off because we do not have regular insurance. We have had no problems financially.
Praise the Lord for all His help on taking care of expenses, physical and medical needs, and for always being with us in a tangible way as we have journeyed this far.
Thanks for all your continued prayers. We know and can see the effects of them.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Prayer and circumstances
I got my Zap (chemo) last Tuesday and was kind of wiped out. Too lazy to get up and retrieve my book, I read the mail sitting nearby with more than the usual thoroughness. Even one of my wife's catalogs in which I found a plaque with the following:
"A soldier's prayer" from the US Civil War days.
"I asked God for strength, that I might achieve,
"I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.
"I asked for health, that I might do greater things,
"I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.
"I asked for riches, that I might be happy,
"I was given poverty, that I might be wise.
"I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men,
"I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.
"I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life,
"I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.
"I got nothing I asked for --
"but everything I had hoped for.
"Almost, in spite of myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
"I am, among all men, most richly blessed."
This I found thought provoking. Then I got my book and opened to the next chapter, which was about prayer and praying rightly. It gave the main reasons for problems in our prayer life: not really knowing ourselves, knowing our situation, knowing what we really want; and not really knowing God as He is revealed in the Bible. Three remedies come to mind: first, making time for some introspection, something I am not naturally inclined toward; really spending enough time with God in the Bible, listening prayer and meditation on His word; and realizing the fact that the Holy Spirit will help with our prayers when we leave it to Him ("We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." Rom 8:26)
Wednesday we will be leaving for a week in South Dakota with our daughter, son-in-law and grandkids. (My challenge is to survive a week with boistrous youngsters--which will be a pleasure I'm sure.) Back in April, when we made arrangements to go I was frustrated that I could not get a sooner flight (using Skymiles) than the end of July: in fact the time I wanted was right after I came home from the hospital and would not have been able to travel. God knew ahead of time that it would not be until the end of July when I would feel my best. He arranged the trip between chemo treatments knowing ahead of time when they would be scheduled. Isn't God great to work that out for me before I even knew I needed it?
Thanks for your continuing prayers.
"A soldier's prayer" from the US Civil War days.
"I asked God for strength, that I might achieve,
"I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.
"I asked for health, that I might do greater things,
"I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.
"I asked for riches, that I might be happy,
"I was given poverty, that I might be wise.
"I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men,
"I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.
"I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life,
"I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.
"I got nothing I asked for --
"but everything I had hoped for.
"Almost, in spite of myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
"I am, among all men, most richly blessed."
This I found thought provoking. Then I got my book and opened to the next chapter, which was about prayer and praying rightly. It gave the main reasons for problems in our prayer life: not really knowing ourselves, knowing our situation, knowing what we really want; and not really knowing God as He is revealed in the Bible. Three remedies come to mind: first, making time for some introspection, something I am not naturally inclined toward; really spending enough time with God in the Bible, listening prayer and meditation on His word; and realizing the fact that the Holy Spirit will help with our prayers when we leave it to Him ("We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." Rom 8:26)
Wednesday we will be leaving for a week in South Dakota with our daughter, son-in-law and grandkids. (My challenge is to survive a week with boistrous youngsters--which will be a pleasure I'm sure.) Back in April, when we made arrangements to go I was frustrated that I could not get a sooner flight (using Skymiles) than the end of July: in fact the time I wanted was right after I came home from the hospital and would not have been able to travel. God knew ahead of time that it would not be until the end of July when I would feel my best. He arranged the trip between chemo treatments knowing ahead of time when they would be scheduled. Isn't God great to work that out for me before I even knew I needed it?
Thanks for your continuing prayers.
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